I don't understand why its so much more sad this time then all the other times. I really seriously want to cry this time. I don't know why I don't want to leave so bad. Usually by now I feel sad, but kinda ready at the same time. Now its like, I need more time. It all seems very fast and summer feels oh so far away. I don't like it. It feels so perfect. Brooks and I living here together, going places, seeing people, having fun. I'm supposed to go get my belly button pierced today, so maybe that will make me feel better. It kinda feels like I'm just up and leaving, with no closure. I don't understand.